Editor: Should that be a ‘bap’ or does ‘bun’ work better? Either way, here is another story from our Dystopian Writing Team.
Trust In The Science University Programme (TITSUP) has announced it will, imminently, be introducing its most recent ‘medical breakthrough’ for the unjabbed and or those who have had their statutory thirty-three jabs so far but are sick of being a ‘pin cushion’ for ‘The Great Reset,’ well, all that is about to change,’ because ‘the science’ is bringing you the ‘Rona Burger.’
This meatless marvel in a bap, produced from a soya-rized synthetic nutrition-less, tasteless ingredients made to look-like a juicy meaty burger, grown from crops on the ‘Amazonian Flatlands,’ the once magnificent and life-giving Amazon Rain Forests of South America, which breathed life itself into the world, before being chopped down to make way for the fields required to grow the plants and build factories required to produce the Rona Burgers.
Once the plants have been harvested and the burgers have been made, they will then be ‘Burger-ized,’ a process by which all of the ingredients found in ‘the jab’ are infused into the ‘burger, which scientists have affectionately named as the ‘burger-merger.’
Once merged, the Rona Burgers are packaged and expedited through the food supply chain for you to have a synthetic beefy looking meat free Rona Burger in a bun, in your hand, ready for its immediate consumption by you.
However, aesthetics are not a pre requirement for synthetics, with many people describing this ‘culinary cutie’ as a ‘crap in a bap.’
“Hey, its not my fault I smell, it’s my glands.”
So, what is so special about the Rona Burger? The answer is simple: It will contain all the yummy ingredients that you would previously have had injected into your arm, using a standard, almost torturous harpoon, commonly referred to as a syringe.’ It’s time to say ‘goodbye’ to jabbing, and ‘hello’ to ‘Rona Burger Bapping!’
Do Not Fret, though, because the burger will contain all the nasties already floating around your body from your previous booster jabs, as well as some new ones, too, including these:
“Hi everyone, it’s just us nasties here letting you know we can not wait to meet your insides.”
So, you can look forward to telling your once friends, but now unjabbed social lepers that, you are still the: Badge wearing, virtue signalling, me too victim, jabbed up to the ying-yang, narcissist
According to www.truthinplainsight.com a list showing some of the ingredients found in the lurgy vaccines making the rounds, can be accessed by pasting the following link into your browser. The article is titled: Jab Ingredients by Wayside on September 7, 2021.
Jab Ingredients
Moving on, if you think the good news ends there, then you would be wrong, because ‘the science’ has declared that it is safe for you to have one burger per week, which will soon be made freely available. So, you no longer have to wait three months to top up on your victimhood, when all you have to do is ‘Trust in the Science,’ because not everything your government tells you to do goes, tits-up, does it?!
You will be able to get a burger from the tens of thousands of ‘Rona Burger’ premises, which will soon be littering the almost desolate streets throughout the UK, having made their homes in the Borisovsky Bankrupted Businesses, once known as the traditional family run shops and businesses that once thrived and served the public on what used to be referred to as the ‘High Street,’ before the Lurgy took it all away (image below):
Nostalgic and sad, a now baron and featureless high street is filling up with fast-food outlets, row on row, peddling only junk-food to the fast-food addicts who are beyond hope and crave for buckets of ‘belly-bile.’
Here is an image of one of the new Rona Burger outlets soon to be opened, where the traffic lights are always on ‘Green for Go,’ so no burger traffic backlogs to be concerned about.
Even the long since forgotten ‘Greasy Joe’s Cafe would have deemed it beneath him to operate alongside a rona burger outlet. Here, let Joe tell you himself in his own words:
“Hello, Joe here and I hope the Elites ‘get it’ in the New Year, and I do not mean the Rona Burgers, because the Elites will not be eating any of the ‘chemical mulch’ they expect you to be queueing up to trough, not a chance, because they know what ingredients are in them, and so would you if you got off your arse and did the research, which you won’t!”
“Aye, them Elitismists tried to recruit me to serve in one of them new burger bars of theirs, but I just told em’ not a chance, I mean, why would I want to sully my reputation and serve up the chemical ingredients in their burgers, when I can serve up my own fry-ups containing all your essential E-numbers, excess salt, sugar and colourants in my daily special: Death by Breakfast.
“I’ve heard from me ‘conspiracy theorist’ pals down at The Nags Head in Peckham, that the Rona Burgers contain DNA altering, heart weakening, blood clotting, respiratory nasties that penetrate the blood-brain protective layers and attack the immune system? They say its Genocide in plain sight, well, so they reckon, like, guvnor.”
According to one of our government sources, all you need to qualify is, just you. The Rona Burger outlets are open 24/7
for you to claim your burger, however, unlike the previous system where you had to haul around all your paperwork to have stamped, just so you could prove, on demand, that your zonal passport and freedom pass was up to date etc, then its more good news for you, because that system will soon be replaced by a ‘new era’ of The Great Reset nanotechnology.
Remember all the conspiracy theories about the jabs containing nanotechnology, unique identification bar codes and micro tracking chips, the good news is, ‘it was all true,’ according to www.I-told-you-so-magazine.earth not that it will make any difference to Useless Eaters (UE’s) who are deaf to any sound other than that of the government narrative.
Sheeple 1: “Eh, what was that they just said, it’s all true and trust in the science?” - Sheeple 2: “I wasn’t listening, sorry; I just want my j’aaab.”
Tim ‘the hat’ Foil’ “I knew it was fake when they said the jab was safe.”
So, for all you UE’s out there, when you go for your Rona Burger, you will be scanned upon your entrance, either by fingerprint, retina, voice pattern or whatever freedom you surrendered to big tech when you blindly ticked their terms & conditions (t’s & c’s) to use one of their mind-numbing apps.
The unique code of the burger you are handed will be recorded and must be eaten on the premises. Once eaten and the burger barcode has been consumed by you and before you leave the premises, one of our very helpful and polite, in-store ‘Artificially Intelligent Burger Bots, will scan you to make sure your burger and bun is nicely in your tum’ just to make sure it has been safely tucked away.
“I am so looking forward to having the science inside me.”
“So am I.”
The reason the burger has to be eaten on the premises is to avoid the temptation of leaving the store with it and selling it on, or having it stolen, which could result in your unique barcode and tracking chips in the belly of a ‘burger bandit.’
Each month, if you have managed to eat four in-store burgers, you will be able to claim a ‘belly-busting’ portion of ‘chips,’ which you can take with you and eat outside of the premises and yes, you can share them.
Happy Munching!