Editor: It has been described as the ‘Westminster Wizz.’ It keeps the old farts awake and their nappies dry, never having to fall asleep during a parliamentary session, and never having to wake-up with, ‘leaky plumbing.’
Stimulation of Neuro and Oratory Receptors and Transmitters, or SNORT for short, is the modern day ‘snuff of old,’ revamped and brought up to date and given a 21st century makeover.
SNORT can be added to:
· Your cup of tea as a replacement for sugar which might not taste as sweet, but it will get you up on your feet when it’s time to stand up and perform.
· Sprinkle it on your heavily publicly subsidised meals or add a teaspoonful of it to your lunchtime ‘snifter,’ stir, sip up and pour the remainder over your ‘fat boy’ salad as a dressing to get the blood pumping.
· It can also be used as a breakfast topper for your GMO flakes and other ‘rapeseed infused’ products to give you the verve, necessary to get you through your day.
However, Red Brick recommend SNORT to get your synapses snapping back at each other causing sparks and explosions to fly, breathing life into the ‘political dodderers’ hogging parliamentary bench space,
invigorating and jump-starting their rusty engines with a tune-up using, SNORT.
WARNING! Stick to the recommended dosage otherwise there may be side effects from which we refuse to offer any responsibility. For example:
The above four politicians having overindulged on SNORT, found themselves running off at the mouth leading to all of them receiving full suspensions from their own parties, and it was not for breaking any party rules or parliamentary codes, nada, no way Jose.
It was because they broke the ‘unwritten’ rules, or one rule in particular, they told the truth leaving no wriggle room for the political spinners to respond with a damage limitation statement.
The four politicians were ordered to take gardening leave and have not been seen for weeks, although a Swampminster source has informed Red Brick that they all ‘voluntarily’ admitted themselves into a private parliament mental health clinic for reorientation therapy, so that they can be brought back into the fold.
Another Red Brick source connected to the clinic states that, none of the politicians are showing early signs of returning to two of their party principles of:
· Making ambiguous and misleading statements.
· Replying to a question with a question.
Red Brick’s source handed over to us an image taken covertly from inside the dormitory where the four politicians are detained….err, voluntarily, of course.
This is the image of Politician, ‘A,’ receiving a mild course of ECT and by the look of it, he appears to be enjoying himself.
Bob the ‘Gob’ Caulfield, Red Brick for Truth.