Editor: So, another round of awards has been given to people for….err….doing their jobs? I am of course referring to those in the ‘Bread and Circus’ industry, or as us at Red Brick think of it, the useless eaters ‘distraction Industry,’ but to be more in keeping with its traditional name, the entertainment industry.
However, we not only acknowledge, but also congratulate the people who have gone above and beyond etc, the everyday people who crawl out of their beds, tired, because their primary role is not what they received an award for, it is that they have to go to work to put food on their tables first and foremost.
The selflessness for which they have won their honours is often a secondary role and does not involve the raising or giving of money, yet it is a priceless one.
I am of course referring to their time and the people who receive it., people who are often without family or support networks, so to have someone who is prepared to share their time with them, is not something that can be measured pricewise, because it is unquantifiable.
Another of the recipients awarded an honour by King Charles is a ‘confessional visual artist,’ but that will be discussed later in this article, because first I would like to introduce Gerry Prayson, Red Brick Art Critic. When not inspecting art, or what passes for art in this era of ‘post-modernity,’ Gerry defers to his secondary role as a Societal Commentator.
He reports on ‘High Society Bashes,’ such as the ‘Debutante Balls’ where posh parents advertise their daughters to potential male suitors who have been bred from stock with ‘loadsamoney.’ So Gerry, tell us more about these balls:
Thanks Ed, they are for overly privileged and ‘silver-spooned’ daughters who have become spoilt through playing the ‘daddy’s girl card,’ a manipulative bi-product and manifestation due to the parents having always said ‘yes’ to the wants of their child, never questioning whether or not it was necessary for the child’s development
Daddies ‘little angels’ have grown up now and their pleas of , ‘Oh please daddy, please can I have a Porsche, please, please, pretty please,’ which might have once sounded childlike and cuddly to daddy, are now annoying whining sounds and daddy’s thoughts turn to, ‘it is time for someone to leave home.’ So, for little miss now not so perfect
the ‘writing is on the wall.’
So, how does daddy relieve himself of an annoying appendage, who is now a live-in parody of Violet Elizabeth Bott, which will allow him to spend more time with his mistress? Quite simply make it so that his once carpet rat turned brat becomes someone else’s appendage.
The time has come for ‘Little Miss Temper Tantrum’ to spread her wings, so daddy buys her a cutesy dress, ruby slippers and agrees to her demands for lip fillers, adding to her teenage boob job and several nips, lifts and tucks she had so she could be just like her friends, and now he is ready to send her to a Debutantes Ball.
The ‘Society Balls,’ where daughters of good breeding age stand a chance of picking up a pair of their own, hopefully someone they like and a bit of a looker, too, but will settle for another ‘rich kid from the block’ who presents as a pushover, just like daddy used to be.
There will be an abundance of young ‘snooties’ or should that be ‘snotties,’ never mind, either way both apply, for the young ladies to look over and they will not be too difficult to spot, because they will be huddled up in a corner of the room giggling like little schoolboys, because one of them mentioned women’s breasts.
If that doesn’t work because the ‘giggling gaggle’ might be stand offish preferring the company of males, despite having been ordered there by their parents who demanded they act like men and get married, the girls will have to approach the boys and instigate a conversation with them.
All the girls have to do is ask the boys what their nicknames were at their ‘all-boys together’ public school for posh kids, and if they answer stinky, piggy, or stumpy,’ whammo, job done.
These boys whose journey into adulthood will have been scarred due to their bullying from their peers, hence their nicknames, will be ripe for the picking for the girls whose first words as a child were, ‘Kerr-ching,’ followed by the words, ‘me, more, me again and pimm’s.’
So, there you go, every girl can be a winner and not one of them has to go home alone and if they do not like what they see, no problem, because daddy will instruct his desperately unhappy, ‘drinks too much,’ stay-at-home wife, to pick one for her!
But what does Google AI say about society debutante balls?
Google AI Overview: ‘Debutante balls, or “coming-out” parties, traditionally serve as a formal introduction of young women into high society, marking their transition into adulthood and eligibility for marriage within their social circles. While historically cantered on matchmaking, modern debutante balls often emphasize networking, community building, and charitable fundraising, while still maintaining elements of tradition and formality.’ Thank you AI.
Funny innit, wasn’t that what I said? Anyways, I have digressed so moving on….
I’ve now been joined by Red Brick’s 2-Dimensional Art Master (RB2D) who works from our Paris office, France, both of us will give our expert and critical views on Modern Art and is there a point to it, however, first we have to establish what is ‘Confessional Art,’ because neither of us has a bloody scooby as to what it is.
Google AI was asked the following question: Is confessional visual art the same as modern art?
Google AI Overview: ‘Yes, confessional visual art can be considered a form of modern art, specifically falling under the umbrella of contemporary art, which encompasses the art produced from the late 1960s onward. Confessional art is a subgenre within contemporary art that focuses on the artist’s personal experiences, emotions, and vulnerabilities, often exploring themes of selfhood, identity, and the boundaries between private and public life.’
Thank you, AI, however, that was as clear as mud!
Now, let me make things clear, I do not have an opinion about ‘modern art’ at this juncture, but I will have one at the end of this article.
The taking of everyday objects as stand-alone features and labelling them as examples of art, well, I just don’t get it. We’ll hear RB2D views further on in this article, but first here is an example of what I mean from an article I saw many moons ago, which I saved for an occasion such as this:
So, what did you make of that?
I hope that clears things up for you avid readers, because it made no difference whatsoever to my understanding of modern art, which according to my childhood artistic education taught to me by woolly jumper wearing philistines, was all about paints, paintbrushes and scraps of paper to paint and draw matchstick people on.
However, my artistic education was about as much use as a parliamentary regulatory committee for the oversight and adjudication of MP’s expenses, however, I digress.
The following article relating to the Independent’s article above, was reported by Sky News on Tuesday 8th of October 2024. It was written by news reporter, Niamh Lynch. We have inserted RB2D into the image below where he gives his assessment of the ‘two cans art’ theme,
Well that did not take RB2D long and he is our resident art expert. So, I am not the only person who does not understand the ‘abstract artists’ and their artistic concepts and visions.
But hey, what did the readers of the Independent think about the two cans, so let us now have a read at some of their comments:
And then there is this:
Interesting don’t you think? However, if there are any budding artists out there looking for a few bent and out of shape beer cans to help them get started, I have an abundance of them lying around my man cave from last night’s session with the jolly boys, and even more in my recycle bin.
So, a workman mistook two ‘empty crumpled beer cans’ for litter. Was it because he must have thought when he first saw them, ‘which dickhead didn’t pick their litter up after them?’
Clearly an art heathen, I mean, ‘c’mon pal, you must have known what they were, it’s a modern art museum, you must surely know the difference between what is and what isn’t junk, right?’
Clearly we have identified a ‘training issue,’ so best the museum management gets in contact with their HR and organise the workman a crash course, so that he can identify the ‘obvious differences’ between modern art and everyday litter.
A spokesperson for the museum following the recovery and repatriation of the two cans offered a simple explanation for the workman’s misunderstanding: “If you look closely, you will discover that the dented and empty cans are hand-painted. Every detail has been painted onto the cans with precision using acrylic paint. Lavet’s piece required a lot of time and effort to create.” (8th of Oct 2024)
That explains it then, if only the workman had a pocket version of the ‘James Webb Space Telescope,’ then he might have been in with a chance of identifying the cans as art, either way, it’s still a cracking bit of publicity for the museum and no doubt thousands of ‘useless eaters’ will be flocking to examine the ‘two cans’ modern day depiction of art.
I would suggest that if the same people enjoyed viewing the cans, they might also enjoy a visit to the Louvre, Paris, France, to view the bric-a-brac on display there. The following images contain a few examples of this:
Hold on, I think I might have jumped the gun a bit here and have done the workman who binned the cans a disservice, because the two cans were ‘actually’ on display ‘in a lift’ at the museum, a lift he was working in.
But why were they in a lift? The Director, Sietske van Zanten, explains the reason being that he did not believe in displaying the art collection in “mundane places” such as walls or pedestals.
I take it all back, because it is not the workman who requires a course, but I do think the director might benefit from one, a one that involves traditional themes, such as common sense and how to create a ‘proper’ display.
The cans have now been placed on a temporary pedestal near to the entrance of the museum, which is intended to put the work in the spotlight.
Is it me or does the same situation look as if it could happen again, perhaps through a visitor leaving the museum, noticing the cans and thinking: ‘Look at that, some idiot was too lazy to put their used cans in a bin,’ and decides to do their good deed for the day by ‘binning the cans in the nearest trash receptacle.
So, in conclusion, what do I take from all of this, well, two things really:
- When it comes to modern art, its abstract concepts and those who claim to understand them, well, in their world the elevator of understanding reaches the top floor, but not in my world.
- In my world, modern art ‘is shite.’
Gerry Prayson and Red Brick’s 2-Dimensional Art Master (RB2D) for the Red Brick International Media News group.