Red Brick for Truth Parliamentary Shop has NOW RE-OPENED.
Hello everyone, Bob ‘the Gob’ Caulfield here with a quick word, if that is possible, to let you know we have recently, by popular demand, re-opened our Political Emporium at Westminster, London.
The shop is packed with the ‘tools’ the politicians will need if they are to ask those awkward questions in the House, such as Red Brick’s:
The ‘Supreme Mattress’ is the latest addition to our Parliamentary Range, which we our particularly proud of, having won the prestigious PM Trophy, no, not the prime minister wotz-is-name’s trophy, this one, the Premier A-rated Mattress including Parliamentary Expense Reimbursement Trophy for 2025, more commonly known as the PAMPER award.
The PAMPER award requires that a product, has not only to be innovative, but also ‘politician friendly,’ in that it benefits the parliamentarians politically, healthily and or raises their living standards. Hence it being known as the pamper award.
This means that the trophy winner must also ensure that their product comes with a guarantee that its purchase complies with it being fully reclaimable as a legitimate MP’s expense.
Introducing our Sleep Eazy Bed Mattress Supreme, which is part of Red Brick’s, Bridgen Range.
The ‘Science’ proves what Red Brick’s Parliamentary Press Officers have been telling MP’s all along that, honesty, integrity and serving the public without showing fear, favour or prejudice has its own rewards and in this case, it means being able to lie straight in bed and what better way to achieve this other than purchasing a mattress from our Bridgen Range.
However, the same ‘science’ used by the UK Government to claim that the Lurgydemic ‘vaccines’ injected into its citizens were ‘safe and defect’…., oops, typo, safe and effective, shows that a poor mattress will result in what has been identified as, ‘political curvature’ of the spine.
The implications of a politician having curvature of the spine are all too familiar a sight for the press and the public, with many politicians both past and present having fallen from grace resulting in their biggest hurt of all and their loyalty to what is important, which is the reason they got
into politics and that is, being able to maintain a healthy pocket and claim their expenses, and then some.
Curvature of the spine will make a politician highly susceptible to promoting ambiguities, making misleading statements and failing to properly disclose the facts when asked an open question in parliament.
A word of caution and a disclaimer to anyone who purchases any of our Red Brick range of mattresses, they are ineffective to any and all politicians who entered parliament with an all too common affliction, that is having a pre-disposition to telling ‘political porkies’ and being deceptive in the face of the facts, better known by its ‘bullshit title,’ political spin.
Our studies have shown that in order to have a clear conscience, it is essential to maintain a straight spine, and what better way to achieve this by owning your very own ‘wonder mattress’ from our Bridgen Range.’
Unfortunately, none of our products are available to ‘try before you buy,’ because our past experiences have shown that when dealing with the political class that, when it comes to paying for our products, difficulties can arise,
All too often when we have been attempting to retrieve our goods not paid for, yet initially delivering them in good faith and prior to payment following an invoice from us, we have seen politicians standing before us straight-faced and telling us, “I thought it was a gift, yes, that is what you said,” whilst all the time their pants were ablaze.
This is despite them having signed their name on the understanding that it was a purchase agreement, hence us becoming victim to a political U-turn and yet another one of those ‘politician’s porkies.’
We have great faith in our Bridgen Range of mattresses and that they will return our publicly elected representatives to not only having straight spines and a good night’s sleep, but also a return to straight talking and being straight with the public, so hope springs eternal in the officers of the Red Brick International Media News Group.
Bob ‘the Gob’ Caulfield.